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CONTRIBUTION · 24th March 2011
Internet rounder
A little girl asked her father, 'do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time"?
The father replied, 'No, some begin with - If I am elected.'

Politicians are much like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

Political cunning should never be mistaken for intelligence.

Honesty in politics is much like oxygen. The higher up you go, the scarcer it becomes.

During Canada's "brain drain," not a single politician left the country.

Crime is merely politics without the excuses.

Activity is the politician's substitute for achievement.

"To be responsive at this time, though I will simply say, and therefore this is a repeat of what I said previously, that which I am unable to offer in response is based on information available to make no such statement."

Two politicians were having a heated debate. Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other, "What about the powerful interest that controls you?"
And the other politician screamed back, "You leave my wife out of this!"

There are two sorts of politicians: those who can talk nonsense on any subject under the sun, and those who don’t need a subject.

The government is sneaky. They raise the tax on alcohol, and then make sure that the country is in such a mess that you drink more.

Don't vote - it only encourages them.

It's tough being a politician. Half your reputation is ruined by lies the other half is ruined by the truth!

Some people tell political jokes... we HAVE them!

The trouble with political jokes is they get elected.

Redundancy: An airbag in a politician's car!

Limit Canadian Politicians to 2 terms: 1 in office, 1 in jail.

The statesman shears the sheep, the politician skins them.

If voting could change the system, it would be illegal.

If not voting could change the system, it would be illegal.

Why is it that political leaders don't seem to have all the answers until they write their memoirs?

The government claims it's following the will of the people. I didn't even know we'd died!

Statesmen tell you what is true even though it may be unpopular. Politicians will tell you what is popular, even though it may be untrue.

Politics is the art of making it sound as if Father Christmas comes earlier in the year.

Make your MP work - don't re-elect him.

A politician is a man who stands for what he thinks the voters will fall for.

A politician has to be able to see both sides of an issue, so he can get around it.

Political T.V. commercials prove one thing: some candidates can tell all their good points and qualifications in just 30 seconds.